Secure Your Own Mask First

Recently a friend posted a quote on Facebook from Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.  I found the quote so good I decided to check the book out at our local library and read more.  Having been on a journey towards a more emotionally healthy faith over the past nine years (I'm sure I still have a ways to go), I've found it to be a very refreshing book.  There is much in this book I have experienced in this time and it's encouraging to find others who have come to similar conclusions.

Whenever I spend time reflecting on a topic like this I often am reminded of the pre-flight safety instructions a person hears when flying on a commercial airliner.  During the section about the emergency oxygen masks, passengers are reminded to make sure their own mask is secure before they attempt to help someone else.  The logic behind this instruction is simple.  If you haven't made sure you have enough oxygen to survive in an emergency, you won't last long and won't be able to help others.  So, for their sake, it's best to take care of your own mask first.

This is sound advice for anyone who has committed their life to serving others to remember.  We need to prioritize taking care of ourselves if we are going to be of any use to others.  When we are involved in serving others, it's a challenge to resist the feelings of guilt if we take time for ourselves.  If someone comes to us with a request we can feel a compulsion to always say "yes" regardless of the effect on our own lives.  In that process it's easy to neglect the most basic points of self-care, but if we do we will be of no use to those we seek to serve and will begin to resent the very people we say we love.

There are times for self-denial and many in the United States have elevated the level of the "bare necessities" to the level of excess.  Still, there are basic boundaries every human needs to put in their lives to operate at their best.  So, for the sake of those we seek to serve, let's remember to make sure our own mask is secure first.

Wise Leadership: Get The Full Story

There is an interesting story in the history of ancient Israel.  It occurs near the end of the Book of Joshua as the fighting men of the two-and-a-half tribes that had been given land east of the Jordan River are released from their obligation to fight alongside their fellow Israelites that will settle west of the Jordan River.  Before they cross over the river, these men build a replica of the official altar that is placed in the tabernacle of Yahweh (God).  They did this as a memorial for future generations to remember that people living on both sides of the river were worshippers of Yahweh.  The initial reports among the people living west of the Jordan River, though, was that this was done out rebellion against Yahweh.  In response they prepare for civil war to remove the offense from the people of Israel.

A delegation is sent ahead of the army to find out what has happened.  It is lead by Phinehas, the current priest and grandson of Aaron.  Phinehas would not be considered a "bleeding heart liberal" by modern standards.  When there was obvious offense against the Law of Yahweh, he was not afraid to take swift action in punishing the offense.  In this case, though, he took the time to listen to the men from east of the Jordan River and find out their reason for building this replica.  Upon hearing their answer he replied, "Today we know the LORD is among us because you have not committed this treachery against the LORD as we thought. Instead, you have rescued Israel from being destroyed by the hand of the LORD." (Joshua 22:31) Civil war was averted.

Both positive and negative examples from several years of leading others and serving under other leaders has shown me how important this skill is in leading wisely.  It's easy to look at another person's actions and assume an offensive intention.  This can especially be true when we feel defensive.  We can assume someone has our ill will in mind when there may be no malice intended.

It's important to give people space to explain their intentions and not jump to conclusions.  Even if we find out our original assumptions are correct, it's worth taking the time to make sure this was the case.  James, an early follow of Jesus, put it another way: "You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." (James 1:19)  That's good advice.